Homework- for the PARENT or for the CHILD?

How much help is too much help? Some Guidelines and Suggestions - Grades K-8

When we first moved to Woodcliff Lake, I joined a citizens committee that met with the superintendent of schools on a regular basis. At one of our meetings, the superintendent was very upset. She had just gotten off the telephone with an irate parent. The mother could not understand why her middle school child did not receive an A on a research paper. As the conversation between the parent and the superintendent unfolded, the parent admitted that she had written the paper for her child!

Perhaps, this incident motivated me to think about planning workshops for parents on “Homework Survival” and “Understanding Study Skills” that I presented at adult schools and libraries. I realized that parents needed guidelines on how much homework help to give their children without defeating a primary purpose of homework: focus and concentration. I concluded that those guidelines needed to be flexible: dependent on the child’s grade, ability, and maturity level, as well as the nature and content of the homework assignment.

In the Grades K-2, the parent needs to set the stage for the child to focus and concentrate on homework. An area of the house can be designated as the “family study hall”. It can be the kitchen table, the child’s bedroom desk, or a designated part of the family room. The parent must make sure that there is proper lighting, good ventilation, and freedom from the distraction in the “study hall”. The parent could see that the child has all the necessary supplies in one place: a box, desk, or pencil case. It is also a good idea to have a clock in the room so the child becomes aware of time management.

In Grades 3 and 4, parents should check to see if the homework is clearly written. They may ask the child to paraphrase the assignment. Parents may ask the child to read the questions aloud, and ask where the answers can be found. Then, the child needs to be left to work independently. When the child is finished, the parent could check to see if all the questions were answered, and if there were errors. The parent may let the child know if there are some wrong answers, but it is the child’s job to find and correct the errors. Don’t be afraid of sending your child to school with a less than perfect paper!

In Grades 5-8, children become busier with after school activities, and homework time increases. The parent should play a role in helping the child plan a daily homework schedule, and stress the importance of keeping notebooks and subject folders organized. Parents may glance at the day’s written or digital assignments, and encourage the child to check off each assignment as it is completed. Once again, parents may view the completed work and voice if there are errors. However, pointing to, or correcting errors on assignments that must be submitted is, generally, not recommended.

By Middle School, the child needs to become less dependent on the parent as a “homework supervisor”. However, the child should be encouraged to use a “monthly planner” to enhance time management skills. He or she could have developed some specific study skills such as “self-testing” strategies. However, the parent may still offer some assistance.

In Math and Science, the parent can encourage the child to see if his or her answers make sense by estimating and approximating. The parent may glance to see if numbers are written clearly, symbols precisely, graphs and visualizations drawn and labeled carefully. In English and History, the parent should firmly encourage the child to proof read his or her work for organization and flow, vocabulary, capitalization and punctuation. If invited, the parent could do a second proof- read, and call the child’s attention to insufficient supporting details (a common error made in essay writing). The parent may direct the child to sources of supporting details, but never supply or write the missing information into the paper. The homework piece is owned by the child-not the parent.

Development of good organizational skills, study strategies and sustained concentration in Middle School is critical to success in High School where the teen is quite independent, and involved in a myriad of activities. Through the years, homework can be a unifying factor or a dividing factor between parent and child. When you look at your child’s homework, be very careful to offer suggestions - not criticism. There is often a fine line between offering some help, and too much help. A balance is needed between dependence, and encouraging independence. You may comment, and give suggestions, but remember the homework assignment is for the child - not for the parent!